FF8 - They Never Leave You
by Astarte
Summary: Some thoughts on Squall's necklace and one way he might have gotten it


Rinoa woke up abruptly. Her cheek was sore. Rubbing it fretfully, she gave her companion a gentle whack. Squall was awake immediately, alert as always. When he saw her rubbing her cheek and pouting, he chuckled. She looked absolutely adorable. 

"Do you have to wear that thing all the time?" Rinoa sulked, pointing at the offender. It was Squall's lion's head necklace. "I swear I look like you've branded me or something." She turned on the lights and slipped out of bed. Looking in the mirror, she could see the red imprint on her cheek. She glared at him, annoyed that Squall seemed to find it so funny. "I've been Grievered again!" 

"Then why do you always fall asleep on it?" Squall asked in amusement. This happened all the time. Actually, he thought that she looked cute with a little Griever imprint on her cheek. Sort of like an avant-garde fashion statement. 

Rinoa scowled and jammed her fists into her hips. "I'm trying to cuddle you, you dork, not your necklace." With a final furious rub of her cheek, Rinoa crawled back into bed and fingered the necklace resting on her lover's chest. "Seriously," she asked, still somewhat annoyed, "Why don't you ever take that thing off?" 

Squall shrugged absently and then sat up in bed. "Try," he said. His expression was bland but his sparkling eyes made her suspicious. She grabbed the necklace and tried to pull it over his head. It wouldn't go. There was no possible way that it was too small, yet the moment she tried to get it over his head it got stuck. It was almost as if the wretched thing was shrinking. 

Her interest was piqued now. She watched it very carefully, not taking her eyes away for even a second as she slowly raised the stubborn necklace over Squall's head. There! It did shrink! The miserable thing was shrinking so that it wouldn't come off. The lion's head necklace was permanently attached to her Squall. 

Her expression was incredulous. "What the heck?!" she exclaimed. The necklace was magical. How did Squall manage it? First he had a ring that just happened to contain the most powerful Guardian in existence, now he had another magical piece of jewelry. Was it the symbol itself? Could Griever be so powerful that just his image imbued everyday items with magic? She looked at Squall, her expression was intensely curious. "So what's the story on that thing?" 

Squall gave her a gentle hug. A year ago, he couldn't have given her an explanation. He wouldn't have remembered how he'd gotten the necklace but he hadn't junctioned any Guardians since the battle against Ultemicia. His enforced mantle of leadership had left him mostly Garden-bound for the past year. Since then, all of his old memories had returned. He remembered exactly how he'd gotten the necklace. 

"I got it years ago. I was fourteen." Squall's eyes glazed over as he remembered the past. Only four years ago but it seemed like a lifetime. 

It had happened in Winhill. Squall's class had been sent there for training exercises, kind of a mock war, but the weapons had been real. Since coming to the Garden, much of Squall's life had been spent trying to stay alive. Even though he hated to admit it, Seifer was right. There was nothing quite as exhilarating as cheating Death over and over again. In a very peculiar way, he'd been having fun, even though the possibility of his death had existed. What kid didn't flirt with death on occasion, confident in his own immortality? 

After one particularly long exercise, the class had been allowed to take a break. Most of them hadn't gone into the town itself because a majority of the kids were from larger, more exciting cities and Winhill was definitely not that. Winhill was about as rural as you could get, filled with quiet country folk. Squall was about the only kid who actually liked Winhill. 

"I felt really calm there," Squall explained to Rinoa, who was resting her head on his shoulder. "Content. It wasn't something I was very experienced with." He rested his cheek on the top of her head, savoring the moment. 

He'd wandered around the town for hours, admiring the totally alien lifestyle. There were wheat fields, something he had never seen in real life before, some farm hands chasing after some delinquent chicobos, and people living at a leisurely pace that didn't involve combat training and survival tactics. He'd thought of it as surveillance, trying to tell himself that he was gathering information, but really he'd just been enjoying himself, being a kid. 

Eventually, he found himself near a cluster of houses, one of which seemed particularly inviting. It looked like it might have been an inn once, or maybe a tavern, but it wasn't being used any more. It had a quality about it that he could not describe, a special kind of warmth that was just too tempting for him to pass by. 

Gingerly, he entered the strange place. It definitely looked like a tavern but it was empty except for one woman. Pretty, with dark hair, she stood behind the bar, cleaning industriously. Silently she looked up and smiled. Without knowing quite why, that smile had made Squall feel a kind of all encompassing warmth that seemed to wrap him like a blanket. Squall had hesitantly approached the bar, expecting the strange woman to shoo him away, after all, kids didn't actually have any business being in taverns. She didn't say anything, however, not a word. 

With a silence that was slightly unnerving, she beckoned him to come closer, motioning that he should sit down. That luminescent smile shone on her face again and Squall couldn't help but obey. 

Squall sighed and smiled " At that moment, I would have died for her," he shook his head, remembering the sudden confused devotion. "I wouldn't have had the slightest idea why, but I would have." He grinned down at Rinoa's smiling face. Rinoa made an impatient motion for him to continue. Squall rolled his eyes but continued telling his story. 

He had sat there, just watching her as she smiled and cleaned. Then without warning, she placed her hand on his. The sensation had been a shock, cold and tingling, not warm like a human touch should be. She looked down at the ring that he wore. Griever, his only constant companion in a life filled with changes and uncertainty. In a world where everyone had left him, Griever had not. 

Her expression had been both sad and filled with compassion. Squall was certain that she knew. She touched the small of his throat with one pale finger and he had suddenly felt a cold weight there. Looking down in surprise, he could see a necklace there, a lion hanging from a chain. She had stroked his cheek with an expression so loving that tears had threatened to well in his eyes. This new lion was neither strength nor bravery; it was love. 

"That's when she spoke for the first and only time," Squall murmured. The memory brought a mixture of pain and comfort. He truly regretted forgetting that event for all those years. If only he'd remembered, the walls he had built around himself might not have been quite so high. 

Rinoa looked at him in curiosity. "What did she say, love?" she asked, running her fingers through his hair. She slipped her arm around his waist, trying with every once of her soul to be there for him. She understood the loss, even though hers was long past. 

A mother he had never known leaned close to him, trying to infuse him with all the love that she could give. She'd smiled that magnificent smile, spoke those potent words, then vanished before his very eyes. 

"I will never leave you and I will always love you." 

Fin 

Author's note: I can't really explain where this comes from except to say that its about parents in general. I wanted to have Squall have at least one moment of feeling the kind of love that only exists between a parent and child. 


End file.
